The pain of separation transcends borders and generations

Despite coming from different geographic and historical backgrounds, it is striking how they share the pain of not knowing what happened to their loved ones.

“When my husband passed away, [we accepted it as] God’s will,” Nawra says, “But it's different when you lose someone to an ambiguous loss” referring to her two sons. 

“You have no idea how much my parents missed their son. Every night, they’d set out a bowl of water and pray for him,” Lee recollected of the enduring agony.

In Syria, an armed conflict has led to about 38,000 registered cases of missing persons with the ICRC and national Red Cross and Red Crescent societies since 2011. But the actual number is believed to be considerably higher. The Korean War, meanwhile, also left hundreds of thousands of families separated, with today around 30,000 people still waiting to be reunited with their loved ones – or at least find out what happened to them.

How can you help someone like me, someone whose heart is completely shattered?

The process of healing and gaining resilience is also similar.

“Life doesn't stop when we lose someone. You can't just sit there with your head in your hands,” Nawra said. Alida echoes: “[We] must accept the new reality. My grief won't change anything. I must live with it and support those who still can't accept their missing.”

They both participated in ICRC’s Mental Health and Psychosocial Support (MHPSS). Nawra and Alida are both accompaniers trained by the ICRC to provide peer support to other families of the missing.

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